“Feel, he told himself, feel, feel, feel. Even if what you feel is pain, only let yourself feel.”
― P.D. James
“A feeling is not bottomless. Once felt all the way through, a great peace greets you there.”
- Alanis Morissette
P.D. and Alanis bring up very interesting points. Feel your feelings??? Yikes. I shut those puppies down. I never thought of feeling like that. I thought if I felt my true feelings I would only be digging up the past and wallowing in dirty water, muddying up my mind. That’s if I could even acknowledge my feelings. I thought that if I felt I would go on an emotional bender. Violent outbursts! Hysterical laughing! Uncontrollable sobbing! AHHH but no, it’s the opposite. FEELING IS A DIVINE ENERGY! An energy that gives you clarity, peace, closure, hope, quiet, fire, inspiration, fear/excitement, Strength! Oh man, STRENGTH! To feel sadness or anger is strength? Yes it is. It all is! It is honoring the true you. I’m not saying it’s not scary or painful sometimes, but it’s yours and that’s all that matters. It’s time to start owning our feelings instead of judging the crap out of them. As humans, we were built to feel these feelings. Like we have the ability to feel for a reason. So why on earth would we suppress them!? It builds a core within you. A foundation. It allows YOU to be you! So be YOU!
Now we need to take a second and really focus on the distinction between feeling and reaction. Feeling is an internal process. Reaction is an external process. I’m focusing purely on feeling. It is our reaction that gets us in trouble, not our feeling. Version 1: Broken subway = Bryce feeling anger coursing through his bones like a thousand burning suns. That’s just me feeling. I will allow myself to continue feeling that until eventually there is no charge left and I am at peace. Version 2: Broken subway = Bryce becomes total angry bitch the rest of the day, picks fights, and replays the incident over and over again, poison. That’s a Reaction. I have now poisoned my day. If I let the fire sweep through me, feel what I felt in the moment, I would be done and continue living my life. Be aware of version 2. It can consume a lifetime.
Key 1: Disengage the mind. THIS IS CRUCIAL. The mind must literally be removed (yes, literally) when you decide to feel. It is not welcome. It will only judge, crush, shame, resent, toxify and screw it all up! What do I do when thoughts start pouring in? I catch them and visualize my head floating away. They are banished. I am then left with only a body of feelings. And if you get scared that you have to experience the feelings for the very first time without a mind chatter, well, you’re doing it right. Once you take it out of the game, you are able to experience it ALL!!!
Key 2: FEEL THE BEAST. So what do I even mean by feelings? What I mean is the fear in your belly, the tightness in your back, the excitement in your toes, the fire in your ribs, passion in your loins, the love in your heart, ALL OF IT! Feel it. The key is to breathe, release the head chatter, and then focus on whatever you’re feeling and where. Acknowledge it and sink into it. Let it spread and FEEL. It’s yours. Sometimes it’s scary but the deeper you go, the more powerful you become. You are actually HEALING when you experience the feelings. You are expelling all that suppressed emotion that has clogged your machine for way too long. And once you come out of that feeling, ohhhh man, it’s like a release that washes over your entire body. I once went deep into this ugly anxiety I had in my heart and stomach. I just laid there and felt it. It bubbled up and I stuck with it. Tears, sadness, gunk, all started coming out and then…I tapped into the beast that was hidden underneath and I found myself engulfed in power, confidence, and light! UNLEASH THAT BEAST!!!
The Why: Why in God’s name would we ever want to feel? Because feeling is essential to life. It’s how we strengthen ourselves. How we honor our intuition. How we connect to ALL! THESE FEELINGS ARE CLARITY! Hah! Who would have guessed. It’s when we suppress feelings that it all goes to hell in a handbasket. It’s when our minds go in overdrive that we lose the Now. But if we surrender to the feelings in a state of no-mind (letting it float away), that’s when the true brilliance occurs. It’s sending a signal to the Universe saying we are ALIVE and we are ready to engage. AND BY DAMNED, ENGAGE! THEN EXPLODE!!!