The Kale Salad Paradox no one is willing to talk about...
Finding and fixing the points of failure.
Sundays are one of my points of failure. Brunch. It's something my wife and I go full out on. If we want it, we order it. Of course she stops eating when she's full. I however do not. Nor do I care to. There is this inner addict that wants brunch. The sweet. The savory. The overstuffed, over indulged, overly saturated insanity.
I can't help myself. And then what happens? Boom, Sunday is useless. I'm exhausted. I'm full. I'm a waste. Foggy mind.
This is an example of a point of failure. I know the when. I know the how. I know the what. And every week I tell myself I am going to stop. But I rarely do.
Why? Why do I fail when it is so clearly obvious?
Because I don't have a more powerful replacement.
I don't have something that will feed my soul the way these cheats do. Going from fried chicken burritos, sticky bun waffles, maple glazed bacon, cheddar grits, orange juice and sweetened iced coffee to a kale salad will NEVER WORK.
This is what I call the Kale Salad Paradox. It is why most things fail when we try to quit.
So, what do we do? We find a mind blowing replacement. Something that can fuel the body and feed that crack addict version of myself in a way that doesn't make me want to fail.
We must match the intensity of the wanting of say a brunch, booze, shitty food, whatever our point of failure is, with another experience that is just as intense. BUT does not hurt your mind/body. If the intensity is not matched, it will fail.
What does that look like? How about waking up at 7am and going to the beach with my wife. How about renting a moped and going to a boxing class together. How about going to a sound bath meditation or breath workshop. How about hiking a damn mountain.
Here are the 3 factors in beating points of failure:
1. The experience takes place around or before the same time as the point of failure.
2. It is something you actually WANT to do as bad as the event that causes the point of failure.
3. It actually satisfies you.
Eventually the pull of intensity will die down. But let's not kid ourselves, if anyone has tried to quit drinking, quit talking to a toxic ex, quit eating/drinking coffee at 3pm, quit self sabotaging in anyway, you know, it rarely works unless the replacement satisfies the 3 factors above.
The Kale Salad Paradox. Don't fall for it. Instead, annihilate it.