How to remove judgement from life!
To be judgement free is to be divine. Not in some holy and sanctimonious way but in a real honest to god way where we truly don't judge.
There is a very interesting pattern that judgment follows that keeps this insipid trait alive. Here is that pattern:
1. We judge ourselves.
2. We fear judgment from others.
3. We judge others.
Once we see how these three play with each other, we can make the changes, now!
1. This is the root of them all. This is what heightens and triggers #2 and #3. Deep down we are judging ourselves. We may not know it. We may not see it. But if #2 or #3 ever lead to a spiraling, it's because #1 is pretty damn habitualized and projected onto other people. No one knows how to judge ourselves better than us. It is the cruelest judgment of them all.
2. As said above, because of #1, we have #2. We know when we fear judgment. Ridicule. We can obsess what the others are thinking. What they meant by something. Why our boss looked at us a certain way or didn't. The over analyzation. A fairly certain spiral awaits in #2 because of #1.
3. And then we have #3. The bottom feeder. This comes as a result of #1 and #2. But mainly #1. Because we are literally destroying our self-worth through self-judgment, we can't help but place it on others. We must make them feel the pain we do. It may not be vocal. They may not know it, but it can and will happen when #1 and #2 are solidly in place.
So, what do we do about this?
Love ourselves. Now, I know, I would hate this response if I read it. I would probably vomit. But the truth is, at some point we need to find that part of ourselves that is so afraid, so tired, so emotionally exhausted with grief, anger, rage, sadness, and betrayal, and just hold it.
We need to talk to it. To hear it. To let it cry. To let it breathe. To nurture it. To let it be what it needs to be.
It does not need fixed. It does not need to be happy. It does not need to be grateful. It just needs to be.
No judgement. Just love and support.
When more of that happens on the inside, all the judgment from the outside disappears. It's a waterfall effect. #1 is bathed in love.
We then won't fear judgment of others because #1 is no longer judging, it's loving. It's integrity. It's belief in ourselves. The ultimate power. And by right, #3 dries up. Who has time to judge others when we are fully committed to being our own best version of ourselves. It cannot exist.
Feed #1. And #1 is you.