The Heresy of Nice
I had someone tell me the other day that they are a nice person. They really prided themselves on that. Shoved it down my throat.
I didn't buy it.
There was more than meets the eye. What I felt was a person who was hiding from something. Something deep within. Something that may be riddled with guilt and shame. Something...primal. Violent. Angry. No bullshit. No drama.
And yet, he kept telling me how damn nice he was. How kind he was to strangers and the homeless. Selling me on NICE.
I still didn't buy it.
The thing about nice is that we are spoon fed this idea that nice is the way to go. Or how nice is honorable. Nice is kind. Nice is brotherly. Godly. Holy!
Baloney! Nice is mechanical. It's complacent. It's easy. It's sheepish. It's vanilla. Nice is out of integrity.
Now, keep in mind this is ALL under the context that nice is masking parts of ourselves that don't want to be seen. That nice is something we SHOULD be doing. Something that is EXPECTED of us.
To me, what is NICE is feeling what you are really feeling. Being truly honest with yourself about situations. Acknowledging we all have a level of programming that keeps us like smiling idiots. Not all of us, but some. Certainly in me.
That said, this does not mean we get to be dicks. Or we hurt people. Or we walk around like entitled assholes. No, it does not mean that. All it means is that it may be time to see if NICE is actually is bullshit.
Maybe there is a much more powerful way to be nice. Maybe it's being Honest. Loving. Thoughtful. But all from a place of Truth. Not to check off a box. Or keep the false hope that the true parts of ourselves don't rise.
Nice may not be nice at all.
Let go of the NICE for a day or two and see what's hiding under there. Just to even acknowledge it exists.
And once we see what's there, we can CHOOSE what and who we want to be. Even to be nice.