I almost blew the most magical 3 days of the year.
I'm up in Montauk this week because I was invited to lead a mindfulness workshop for partners at Boston Consulting Group.
My wife and I, Bridget, were put up in this great beach front villa at a place called Gurney's.
We have two full days to do whatever we want. Everything covered.
And I almost missed it. I almost missed the damn magic.
You see, last year as I was beginning to think about leading large group workshops, I thought to myself, "Self, wouldn't it be fun to be invited to the Hamptons/Montauk, all expenses paid where Bridge and I could lounge around a few days before the workshop."
Here we are. It's happening. But the thing is, it's not exactly how I envisioned it. There are certain things that aren't exactly how I saw it.
And I almost missed it. Completely.
My mind has this tendency to negate anything good unless it lines up exactly as I see it in my brain.
This is dangerous. Extremely dangerous.
I want Christmas to be 1800's style, Norman Rockwell, chesnuts roasting on an open fire with local towns people caroling with hot cider, type of thing. It never is.
I want to wake up every day knowing that I get to help people transform their lives, connect to deep spiritual spaces, and walk through the streets of New York City, whistling with blue birds on my shoulder. I never do.
I want all my fear and anxiety to go away when debt is paid off, with certain amounts of money in the bank, and jet setting around the world happens. It never does.
That's the pisser of it all. If it doesn't fit the perfect picture, there is a high likelihood that all the magic in life will be missed.
And I do have to say, social media, media in general, perpetuates this. I am victim to it.
Luckily I have a wife that will smack the hypocrisy right out of me when I miss these moments.
When I am always looking for more.
When I could have the gods themselves whispering the answers in my ear and I'm talking over them asking for those answers.
In the end, for me, when I miss this magic, it's because I know that I love it so much, that I believe in it so strongly, that it can be overwhelming.
To imagine that life can be this brutally beautiful. Wow.
It's a responsibility to catch them. To acknowledge them. And to feel the ever living hell out of them.
Because in the end, we get exactly what we want. Whether we like it or not.
As for this guy, I am going to finish this email, while looking out at the water, tears in my eyes, and feel the magic of the opportunities I have. Not only here in Montauk, but also the ability to share my thoughts with all of you.
That's some real magic.