It was my Aunt Chris's birthday yesterday. I told her I loved her. I cried. The only reason I am writing this is because it occurred to me that at the end of our conversation, I told her I loved her and missed her. And I of course meant it...but, I didn't really say it. I said it without the full boom of my heart. And so, I said "wait, I need to tell you something. I love you and am so grateful for everything you have done for me over the years. I can't tell you how much you mean to me and I don't think I would be where I am today if it weren't for you." That was the truth. She's earned the truth. It was from the most vulnerable depths of my heart. I said it and I barely could get it out. I was crying. I hung up the phone and I cried some more. I just cried. Of course the man judgment crept in a bit but fuck it, my heart and I were having an incredible moment. So I let it.
I guess what I want to share is that, yes, I go through the motions, it's easy. It's easy to tell someone you love that you love them but not add that truth behind it. It's easy to let the rush of life take us away and forget to connect. But damn, what a shame. Do I want to be a big blubbering idiot telling everyone how much they mean to me all the time? Well, maybe I do. It's a very special way to live. It's like my heart got to breathe for a moment in time. Wow. What a gift in that moment.
So, to my Aunt Chris, Happy Birthday and I love you with all my heart.
Your nephew, Bryce