If I could pass one piece of advice to a single woman living in NYC it would be this, you are enough. You are. And I don't mean that in some sanctimonious, new agey, hippie dippy shit. I am a man, a husband, a Feng Shui Master, and a lawyer. I'm not here to blow smoke up your ass. You are enough and that is simply fact. You see, 95% of my clients are women. A lot are looking for love. And a lot have completely started loathing the process. They are exhausted. Exhausted from work. Exhausted from shitty dates. Exhausted from hurt. Exhausted from apps. Exhausted. It makes sense. And NYC seems to feed off that. Don't get me wrong, men are doing one hell of a job of perpetuating that energy. The men in NYC are some of the most out of touch, numb creatures I have ever met. It sucks.
However, the women I get to work with are some of the most intelligent, badass human beings. They are determined, focused, and driven. And yet, their hearts don't shine. Their guard is up. One of the most distressing things about this is that it's reflected in their environment. Their home. Their one sacred space. Their palace. It should be worthy of them. Instead it is lifeless. Vanilla. Old. Decorated with a timid taste. "What if someone thinks I'm...." "What if this is too much for the person..." "I don't want to appear childish..." "Yeah but I don't want it to be all about me..."
MAKE IT ALL ABOUT YOU! It's about time you make it all about you. I AM SPEAKING DIRECTLY FROM EXPERIENCE. Be selfish for love of God.
When I work with a woman, nothing is held back. I want to know what makes her tick. What beliefs she has around dating in NY. What animal she would be if she could rip apart all the douchebags in this city. Why she still has bedding from her parents. Why her walls aren't painted with colors and art that screams of her inner fierceness. Why is the energy of her home not bursting at the seams with naked dancing! WHY!? It is time.
"But men are turned off by a woman who owns her power." Well. Fuck. That. Type. Of. Man. I am here to tell you from proof of many, many, many clients, that the moment you start living your deepest most vulnerable beauty, whatever that looks like, a partner will come. The right one. And you will look back and wonder how you ever lived the other way before. It takes work but damnit it is worth it.
Quick note on your power. This doesn't mean you have to walk around like a hardass proving your power. Instead, it's knowing how to have an open heart, doing what YOU want to do. Allowing worthy people in your home. Not reacting to drama. Feeling your emotions. Being a goddamn woman. Being an amazing sex that is so magical, so sexy, so phenomenal that a man should feel himself lucky to be near you. I feel that way about my wife. I'm in awe sometimes by her power. And yes, sometimes the little NYC boy comes out and I act like a bitch because it's so terrifyingly big. Haha. I am still human but it helps me understand the male species so well. I get it. That's why I'm so good at what I do. I am the enemy! Ha. But, my profound love for the opposite sex is why I'm writing this today.
Let me say it again. Feel this. Take a breath and feel this: You are enough. You are worthy. I don't care what happened to you. Where you came from. Or how many dates you've been on. You are enough. Done. And your home is your palace. It must reflect the woman you are and want to be. It just has to. Pour your goddamn soul into it. Let it reflect your deepest desires. Let it be a roar to the heavens of your huge freaking heart. Let them hear that you want to dance in the streets, feel the power of your sexuality, weep when hurt, and laugh when happy. Ohhhh my. To be a man worthy of you, now that's fucking magic. Choose it.
And men, don't worry, I'll get to you later...