I want to introduce you to definitions, the sneaky bastards that run our lives. Definitions are pre-formed ideas of how and what life should be like, lived, and experienced. Success. Marriage. Happiness. Love. Family. Wealth. The problem with these definitions is that they may not, well, define us. HA! And yet, we try to squeeze with all our might, into these definitions which are in fact, incorrect. Oh what a cruel twist of irony.
My favorite definition is that of family. It’s the best. And it causes so much turmoil it’s unreal. This sibling doesn’t like that sibling. No one agrees on anything. Huge emotions. “Oh our family is dysfunctional because”… or “I wish we were more like…” BLAH! It’s insanity. In all my experience there is no perfect family. It’s impossible. It’s an unattainable definition. And yet, a huge proportion of us subscribe to it. That we should call each other everyday recounting the the type of pudding we ate. My mom is lucky if she gets a call every two weeks (sorry mom, I'm working on it). Or that we sing Christmas carols by the fire while chestnuts roast and snow gently falls outside. Nonsense!
I'm not saying it can't exist, I'm just saying there is no use getting upset if it doesn't. It's fictitious. And rather fight to conform into this tiny, itty, bitty, perfect definition that was created by some schmuck, why not create our own definition! This is my family! We love each other this way. We behave this way. This is just us. And slowly it becomes your definition. Then, BOOM! This huge pressure will be released. You won’t feel guilt, shame, regret, and depression for not being the perfect family, again. You will be so clear what your definition is that who knows, you may actually enjoy spending time with them.
Now I use family as one example because it’s a big boy. But start going through your life and looking at ANYTHING that is giving you heartache, anxiety, fear, whatever! And then, REDEFINE IT! No one knows you better than you! Stop letting this silliness dictate your life.
A challenge for you! Redefine it all! Why the hell not? It’s your life. It’s your world. You don’t get an award at the end of the day for conforming to a definition that only causes you strife. Nope, you die. It’s your call. Pretty damn cool if you ask me.