35 today. Mamacita! I don’t have a lot to say except for this. It’s worth it. Whatever your dream is, whatever you are pursuing, whatever pulls at your heart, it is worth it. I know that sounds like a whole lot of watered down nonsense, to some. But it’s the truth. Look, I struggled like hell for a long, long time. And it ain’t over. I mean maybe that’s the point. I don’t know. I’m just a simple son of a soap salesman. Here’s the point, we die. It’s inevitable. You can numb yourself. Call it a day. Let fear, complacency, excuses, sweep over you. And then let it sweep over you again. And again. And again. Or you can say, “Oh no dear friend, no more of that. Goodbye. I’m done. And I want to live. And live fully awake.”
Have I perfected everything? Do I sing when I get up every morning and greet the sun with a huge hug and kitten winks? No. No I do not. But there is one thing I am sure of, it’s that I can’t accept anything less. I just can’t. And when you feel that way, WOW, power unleashes. I mean seriously scary power. I was poopy for many years. I became someone everyone wanted me to be. I knew what people wanted to hear. I knew how to read a room. I was good. There was a certain control over it. No one could get one up on me. But in doing so, in losing a certain vulnerability, a certain unknowingness, I lost myself. There is something so pure and powerful in not knowing! There in lies the hardest and most rewarding test of who you really are. Being alive in a situation with as little judgment as possible. Totally open and vulnerable to a situation. Wow. Scares me even writing it. But then the true you can show. It doesn’t mean you lose power, it just means you don’t need to be a chameleon. And if you don’t like said situation or person, you walk away. Ha! BOOM!
35 years it’s taken ME to get to that. Lot’s of people don’t need to do it. They know themselves. But this is for those chameleons out there. It’s a great skill to have. But make sure you know who you are first. Then you become a beast! THEN YOU CONQUER, LOVE, OWN YOU. WOWEE, what a life!
I leave you with my favorite lyrics from a great band, KONGOS. The song is “This Time I Won’t Forget.”
Cause now I'm alive
I'm taking my first breath
Oh I'm alive
And this time I won't forget
35 years and I’m taking my first breath. Thank you to everyone and especially the love of my life, Bridget Russell (soon to be Kennedy).