She devours her prey

The different parts of being human:

The animal.
The lover.
The fighter. 
The coward.
The victim. 
The predator. 
The king.
The queen. 
The good boy/girl.
The beast.
The angel.

All parts of being a human. All parts that need to be seen. All parts that need to be owned. Some of us only see one or two of these. We think that is us. That's fine. It's a fine life. 

However, some are searching for more. Some want more than fine. And so we must confront ALL of these parts. 

Confronting... they are. 

When we see these parts we have desperately repressed, it can be downright shocking. Disgusting. Denying. THIS IS NOT ME!

But once we do see them. Feel them. Acknowledge them...they no longer lurk. They no longer affect. They no longer manipulate in the background. They are yours to use as you so choose, if you want. 

Who knows, maybe the beast deserves a moment in the light to devour her prey. 



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The thing we refuse to hear

I get to work with a lot of tremendous people. 

Wildly successful in their professions. It's humbling. 

They've sacrificed so many years getting to where they are now. 

They've hit their stride. 

And yet, when they come to me, something is missing. 

They may have the money, the home, the family, whatever checked box it is...

But still, something is missing. 

So, we find it. 

And you know what we find? Something that changes the whole game. 

It's terrifying. It's heartbreaking. It's inappropriate. It's ruthless. It's healing. It's rage. It's grief. It's unabashed joy. 

You know what we find? THEM. 

We find THEM!

Ain't nothing like it in the world. A discovery of I AM. 

Could you imagine having someone trapped in the bowels of your soul and it never having a chance to see the light of day. 

Success achieved without that I AM being online is impressive. It is. That takes a lot of work. Hard, grinding, unforgiving work. 

But at some point, that I AM needs to shine. And you may be surprised just how successful you/we can become. 

It could knock your socks off. A different level. Earth shattering. 

Take a pause. A few deep breaths. Still the body. Put the phone down. Feel your heart beat. Listen to the deep echos within. And then sink deeper. And deeper. And deeper.

There you go. See if you can start to feel a whispering of the I AM. 

It's waiting. 



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To be or not to be

Hamlet, Act III, Scene I [To be, or not to be] Bill Shakespeare 

To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, ‘tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there’s the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law’s delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover’d country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.—Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remember’d.

TO be or not to be. It is the question. 

But it is also our responsibility. 



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Time to admit something

We all have this thing, somewhere inside us, where we care. 

We do care. We care for others. In a very big way. 

I see it, in pretty much everyone. 

Now, does this caring get to live out its fullest potential?

Most times not. 

It's too difficult. Too vulnerable. Too painful. 

At least that is how most of us experience this depth of caring. 

So, we close. We hide. We distract. We numb. We shift. We disappear. 

And no wonder, we've never really been shown the ropes. How to actually care and feel strong at the same time. 

How to feel empowered through caring and not a doormat. 

It's a damn shame I even need to write this email but, that's where we are in the world. 

And the very first step is admitting that you care. That's the big one. 

"Damnit, I actually do care. Sonofabitch." 

From there, all will begin to unfold. But it's in that initial admission where the magic begins. 

We care. Time to own it. 

Love, a very caring, sometimes hard to admit it because its damn vulnerable, 


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The Fall of the "gods."

As a kid, I wanted my heroes to be gods. 

Flawless. Brilliant. Moral. Just. 

Beyond reproach. 

But alas, they were not. They are not. 

And after the fall of one, two, three of these "gods," I understood,

They are but mere mortals. As we all are. 

Of course, like others, I was livid! Incensed! Betrayed! You were/are supposed to be a GOD! Better than me.

Better than me. 

Ohhhh, now there's the hiccup. When we project that which we haven't owned in ourselves onto others, well, that ain't exactly kosher. 

And when we see these "gods" fall, we must ask ourselves, who was it who put them on that pedestal?

Why did we put them up there?

What in ourselves are we looking for others to satisfy?

What is ready to be seen? Owned?

The fall of these "gods" may be exactly what we need for the hero in each of us to rise. 



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An Important Rule in Making the Right Decision.

I was listening to the Noah Kagan podcast and he was interviewing Keith Ferrazzi, author and entrepreneur. 

Noah: How do you know when you've made the right decision?

Keith: With this question...have you perfected the ability to trust what voice you listen to?

Noah: How do you do that? 

Keith: Practice. 


And that's it. What voice to listen to. Some people are extremely clear with the voices they listen to. Their gut. Their instinct. That deep down knowing. 

I on the other hand have never trusted mine. It's dramatic. It's full of false starts. It's mixed with voices of my family, friends, society. 

For years I never even knew there was a difference between the voice in my head and MY voice. I thought they were one in the same.

Until, this voice (more like a core knowing) started pulling me in a different direction. A direction that went against the other voices. 

This knowing grew. And so did my path. Soon it led to a relentless hunt for this ME. I AM. My voice. 

And for the last seven years, every single day, I have practiced, searched, scraped, clawed, begged, beaten, cried, killed, lit, hunted, for my voice. 

Knowing which voice to listen to. Knowing which path to follow. KNOWING! Is the key. It does not matter what job you have, where you come from, who you do or do not have in your life, it is your voice and your voice alone that will carry you through the darkest times and to the highest highs. 

Because once you find that voice, you will most likely realize it is connected to something much, much, bigger than this skin suit we call us. 

And then your voice will BOOM. 




Set up a free call to find YOUR voice

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The werewolf in the woods behind my house

When I was a young boy, many moons ago, I believed there were werewolves lurking in the woods behind our house. I read all about how they hunted innocent boys, much like myself, and either killed them or turned them into howling fiends from hell.

Terrifying. To exacerbate the problem, I was watching the tv with my dad one night that "confirmed" werewolves were real (probably a cable show I was too young to know was fake...I hope). 

But in my mind, it was confirmed, on TV! I was doomed for many more years after that. 

I realize how impressionable I was that day. 

The thing is, werewolves are real. Maybe not like we think but their effects are. 

Fear. Lurking in the dark. The unknown creature waiting to strike. 


They (whoever they are) want us to believe in them. It's good for business. 

However, the more we start to see these societal werewolves, the more we can see what is actually real and what is not. 

They're sneaky. They want you to believe they are real. It's control. Manipulation. 

Play small. Don't take leaps. Be perfect. Compare!

But once you stand in the dark, ROAR, become a beast yourself, then nothing will hurt you. You shatter the illusion.  And then you are bigger than the illusion.  

So, what's your werewolf?




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Cicero was a clever man.

Powerful approaches to becoming what you want most in life.

"The greatest pleasures are only narrowly separated from disgust."
Marcus Tullius Cicero

It is a beautiful thing to touch upon the "dark" spaces of ourselves. 

The untouched. The forgotten. The forbidden. The shamed. The damned. 

It is in those spaces where the light resides. Where power waits. Where inspirations stirs. 

We mere mortals have been taught NOT to go to these places. They are bad. SIN! Repent!

But alas, it is only when we go into these places, feel them, ignite them, own them, do we know thy self. 

Do not shun these spaces. Let them have their voice.

Inside a force resides that may change everything...

We just have to look. 



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A dash of vegan with a hint of beef.

Powerful approaches to becoming what you want most in life.

I came home today and there in the fridge was a giant hunk of vegan chocolate cake. 

It was phenomenal. Tasted like an angel made it by hand. Woven from the smiles of unicorns.

Organic. Dairy free. Animal free. 

After I finished, I went online to order a cheeseburger. Meaty. Dairy. Processed. Heaven. 

The cow, a sacrafice to me. Made from the gods themselves. 

I am a man of extremes. Vegan to carnivore. 

Light to dark. 

Silent to Screaming. 

Open to closed. 

The key for me in this life is to find that middle. Or, if I'm going to indulge in the extremes, be aware of it. Make it conscious. A choice. Not to be pulled from some reactionary state that I have no control over. 

We lose the freedom when it is unconscious. When it is habitual. When we don't even know we have a choice. That's when freedom is taken from us. And if we are truly imbued with this gift, we must assert it. 

Cultivate it. 

Master it. 

Was I Conscious when I ordered that heavenly piece of meat? You're goddamn right I was. Was I filled with reactionary rage when I found the place closed and I was forced to eat a tofu lettuce wrap...absofuckinglutely.

Man of extremes. 



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A very large fear

Powerful approaches to becoming what you want most in life.

I fear sometimes that I will be lost. Forgotten. It's a deeply imbedded fear. It haunts me in my sleep. 

Because of this fear there are times I grasp at things. People. Ideas. Jobs. 

It's all to HOLD ON! Do not forget. Do not leave. 

This fear is hidden in me. Tiny, deep down. A little seed. A samskara. 

But this seed has has branches. It spreads. It grows. And it affects all parts of my life. 

Sometimes I can become a very different person because of it. Overly jokey. Mad. Introvert. Slick. 

It affects my thinking. My worries. My motivations. 

All because of this seed. What a profound thing to see. 

Once I saw it, than I could learn from it. I could trace it back to the source. I could see how it manifested in my daily life. The influence it had. 

This is why I meditate. I want to know what's hidden in there. I want to know what's not really me. I want to know what I bloody damn well feel like. I don't want something pulling the strings without my consent. 

Acknowledge, source, feel, and open. 

No thinking. Just feeling. 

Phew, powerful. 

And then you get to be you and I get to be me. Ain't nothing like it in the world. Trust me.



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This will hurt...and I'm not sorry

I've worked with a lot of people in many different capacities. Sometimes coaching for 6 months. Sometimes a year. A one off feng shui. Or workshop on love. 

But no matter what we've done together, it's always about someone not being content with their life, knowing there is more, and taking action about it. End of story. And I LOVE THAT. 

Of course different people are on different levels. Different wantings of intensity. Of transformation. 

But something I've always wanted to do is find those people who want something fast. Intense. Say... for 4 solid days. 

Just you, me, transformation. No one gets out alive. 

So I decided to offer a 4 day intensive. I come to you. We work one on one. For 4 days. No holds barred. The goal is transformation. To be someone new on the other side. It will be followed up by 3-6 months of skype sessions to keep the momentum in full swing. It's not cheap. It will hurt. But, if you know me by now, when I go all in for someone, I go all in. 

Email me if you would like to chat about this. See if we are a fit. Anywhere in the world. Game on friend. 

Here's to NOW!



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One of the best pizza places in NYC

Powerful approaches to becoming what you want most in life.

I normally don't believe the hype around touristy NY pizza shops.

It's a constant disappointment. 

However, there is one. Totonno's. The original in Coney Island. 

It's about a 40 minute wait once your order. They're snarky. They've been around for 93 years. They have a right to be. 

They don't need me. They don't care about instagram. They aren't going to call you when your table is ready. You can get your water out of the same sink you wash your hands in. 

It's the pizza they care about. And you can taste it. 

The crust is like being transported back in time. It's rustic. It's family. It's old school. It's tried and true. 

By the slice? Don't you even dare. 

This pizza is meant to be eaten whole. Hot. Fresh. Anything less would be a disgrace. 

And yet, a 2 hour wait sometimes.

Maybe, just maybe, the love of the craft and the art of creation still stands for itself. 

In a world of cheap, fast, processed...Totonno's genuine, slow, fresh is like the new black.

And not going anywhere. 



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We are not just one thing

Powerful approaches to becoming what you want most in life.

Part killer. Part lover. Part destroyer. Part builder. Part priest. Part sloth. Part animal. Part angel. 

We are not one thing. 

We have many different parts to us. MANY!

The key is to become aware of them. See them. Know them. 

They are not to be judged. They are to be owned. 

The unowned parts are what gets us in trouble. They feed in the depths of our souls. 

They wait. And then BOOM. They strike. Disaster. 

We are not one thing. 

Discover the different parts and you discover you. 

Who knows, you may even like it. 



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In a corporate world, different is good.

Powerful approaches to becoming what you want most in life.

I do a lot of corporate workshops. They're interesting. 

I have fun trying to bridge the gap of esoteric knowledge into a tangible, grounded way. 

How to make it work in everyday situations?

How to make it not seem too out there?

How to let people know this can help them if they believe?

Do you know how I do it?

I drop all the bullshit from the questions above and simply talk about it. Just the way I like it. 

Once I stopped trying so hard to make it vanilla pudding, I found that people began to resonate with it. 

It turns out people, deep down, are desperately searching for authenticity. Who knew? Even in a corporate environment. 

And when I forget that, they shut off. It's all been done before. Nothing worth their time. 

But when a former attorney starts talking about how there is a way to live that is wayyy bigger, wayyy more in the flow, wayyy more enjoyable, well, it's different. 

And different is good. In my opinion. 

No more fitting things into boxes. Time to do it our way. Or no way at all. 



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"It" takes a lot...maybe

Powerful approaches to becoming what you want most in life.

It takes heart. 

It takes will. 

It takes luck. 

It takes clarity. 

It takes aching. 

It takes joy. 

It takes destruction. 

It takes rebuilding. 

It takes you. 

"It" is messy. "It" is incomplete. "It" is imperfect. "It" may just be an illusion. 

Because at the end of the day "It" already exists. 

Are we ready to embrace "It"?



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Go into the scary

Powerful approaches to becoming what you want most in life.

I know when I have to do something that I don't want to do. 

It's this feeling in my gut. Chaos ensues in my brain. Then I start overthinking. Try to rationalize it away.

After which I drive my wife insane. Topped off with fear and anxiety. 

That's when I know I have to do something. Those are my telltale signs. 

The reason these reactions happen is because I'm ripping through the old parts of myself. And those old parts like being in control. They don't like becoming useless. 

The mind has an amazing way of diverting attention from these growing pains/fears. 

As I said above, thinking, rationalizing, strategizing. Creation of a little drama. Or some other "emergency" to deal with. 

But at the end of the day, the growth will come. One way or another.

I've learned the hard way, many, many, many times, nip it in the bud and do it when you have some control over it early on. Because if we don't, needless destruction will follow.

Rip the bandaid off. Face the fear. Go into the scary and own it on your terms. 

And repeat one thousand more times. 



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Do not read this email

It's 11:12pm est. 

I'll be honest, I'm having writers block. So let me share with you a free form stream of my consciousness to help me unblock this. 

Feel free to stop reading and wait for the next post.  If you haven't here we go:

I can't think. I cant think. my mind is racing. sugar is my god. I love Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper, Im listening to it now, I never listen to music when I write but I thought i would give it a try, it's not good. The music is but it messes with my brain. I ate a hot dog today with pizza and green tea ice cream followed by a diet coke, iced coffe and some peanut butter chumper things, I washed 4 loads of laundry with just oxy clean and found out that I was supposed to add detergent to it and now it smells like moth balls, that pissed me off. laundry is ridiculous. RIFUCKINGDICULOUS. I cant get the green tea ice cream out of my mouth, it wwas a pint, not proud. I love the boxers I'm wearing. Now geroge michael is playing. he did it right. I hate my apartment and lvoe it at the same time. I want exposed brick. I have a decsion to make but my mind is clouded and torn. I rode a rollercoaster today. I twas fun but felt like it was crushing my brain. New york is a whore...sometimes. Laywer, firemeow, green tea icecream, probably lose a few followers, pout, rage, yell, manic, will i post this or delete it? blah balha blahalabhab blahbahla I almond butter. If I ever say namaste on these emails and mean it, shoot me. fuckity fuck fuckerson fuckumps mrfuckertillywink sirfuckington assfuckcatdog ppoop. 

And now back to your regular scheduled emails:

Break the rules of everything. Especially emails. 



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Redefining marriage.

Redefining marriage. This is something my wife and I have been discussing a lot about the last few days. 

What does OUR definition of marriage look like?

There are little things we do that we aren't really sure why we do them. 

Do we want to do them? Or is it an expectation that somehow we unconsciously picked up?

The more Bridget and I grow and evolve, we realize we are hitting up against definitions that no longer suit us. 

It's not easy to recognize immediately because it's so ingrained. But there they are. Waiting to be discovered. 

And it's not always comfortable when we do discover them. There's a sense of security wrapped up in them. 

But again, as we evolve, they no longer suit us. So, we do our damndest to redefine that definition. Make it our own. 

It's interesting to see where this will take us. A new journey. 

Maybe we'll meet a few of you on the way. 



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I dated the ambassador's daughter

Powerful approaches to becoming what you want most in life.

I dated the ambassador's daughter to Kazakhstan once when I was 15. 

We were visiting my Dad in Kazakhstan for the summer where he was working.

It was a wild experience. Having grown up in rural Greensburg, Pennsylvania, this was an entirely different world. 

It shattered everything I knew. I knew farmland. I knew Pennsylvania. The American flag. Apple pie. 

And here we were, in Almaty, Kazakhstan. My brother, twin sister and me. 

At first we were terrified. We ate horse meat. We had to buy bread from weird little kiosks. The language was different. We may or may not have drank vodka for the first time... A lot of vodka. 

But after about a week we were pretty much acclimated. 

We adapted. We were pros! Well, to us we felt like we were. 

We were organizing hikes. Going out to eat. Learning the language. Making friends. Getting dirty. Learning everything we could. It was wild!

This level of shock to the system was good for us kids. It expanded our view of the world.

I say this because it's terrifying how insular we can be. 

But what's really scary is this insular thinking happens at micro levels. We start merging with our co-workers. Our local restaurants. Friends. Family. Soon the world becomes very small. And everything looks very similar. 

To me, this is frightening as hell. 1. because there is a whole world out there that is not being explored. 2. who wants vanilla pudding lifestyle? Blahh.

Try shocking the system. We'll call it the Kazakhstan experiment. You can do it in your city or town. Go do something that you would normally not ever do. Something you may judge. Something you may fear. Something you have no idea what it is. Shock the system and watch the magic unfold after you do. You'll be surprised. 

Oh, and what does me dating the ambassador's daughter to Kazakhstan have to do with this story? Not a damn thing. I just like saying it. 



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