The Paradox of comparison
One of the things I noticed with clients from coaching and IST work is the fear that they are alone. Alone in this world in their feelings. In their failures. In their judgments.
They are the only ones fucking up.
There is no one else, ever, making their same mistake. And they are terrible people for it.
A comparison in totality.
And that breaks my heart. I've felt that way. I know the weight of that. It's heavy and isolating.
But, alas, we are not alone. We are all human. We are all making mistakes. We are all "failing." We are all "screwed up." We are all "imperfect." We are all "less than." We are all...fill in the blank.
No one has the answers. They can't! If there did they would be God.
No one is perfect...because there is no perfect. There can't be. In an ever changing system of life, perfect does not exist.
Thus, if we are basing our performance as a human on a static quality or trait that existed in the past, it is incorrect. It's incorrect because it no longer exists. Because everything changes. All of the time!
So why would we judge ourselves on something that no longer exists?
Paradoxical isn't it?
Accept the fact no one really has a clue what is going on. We have some hints. We have some ideas. But truly, who really knows?
Both comforting and disturbing...and hopefully somewhere in the middle, freeing.